Nothing funnier than a drunk Russian

Last Friday a friend told me about a kegger on Saturday night. So I drive my ass up to the Santa Cruz Mountains and find this house. I show up there with two of my friends and we notice that everyone is like 2-3 years older than us. SHIT!

Next thing they tell us is that a cup is $5. SHIT! I have to drive home at midnight, so I'll end up paying $5 for like 3 beers, definitely not worth it. Eventually more people come and some conversations start up. My (Russian) friend starts up with his retarded stories as always. This time he's telling everyone how you can make alcohol out of a cactus. He explained the procedure and everything.

Then another friend of mine shows up with two half-full bottles of brandy and vodka. Alex (the Russian) wastes no time and chugs whatever's left of the vodka. I gotta say, the stereotype about Russians being able to hold their alcohol is completely false. This guy got so fucking drunk, he had two party fouls in a matter of minutes. First he spills beer on someone, accidentally or not. Then, he tries to punch someone and as a result beer spills everywhere and some ends up in my hair and ear. WTF?!

Soon after, we get hungry and Jack and I decide to make a fast food run. I wanted to drive since I drank the least. We get our food, drive back up the mountain, and the first thing we hear is this stoner-like voice...DUDE, YOU MISSED IT! YOUR FRIEND THREW UP!

That was the funniest thing I've heard all day. Alex spent the next hour sitting on the patio in the cold in his own vomit. It was probably the beer laughing but it was so hilarious at the moment.
I left before we had to decide who would drive him home.

The moral of this story is...know your limit! If you know you can't handle half a bottle of vodka, don't drink it. The end